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Learn to speak nicely 6 errors in conversation

1. Words-parasites

The other day, you know, uh, it is, when I spoke and tried to say something, and I just couldn’t say something because, well, I don’t know, just nothing comes to mind.

Compare that to:

The other day and could not speak, because nothing came to mind.

And with this:

Last week during a conversation with a potential client, I couldn’t say any words because my mind was blank.

What example do you think is more powerful? What can attract people’s attention? Last.

The first example is full of unnecessary words that only bring boredom to the audience. In the second cut out all unnecessary words-fillers, but in the third, the very best and strongest version, went a step further.

It is supplemented with necessary details, which reveal to the listener a picture of what is happening. Visual speech are perceived and remembered much better.

If Ronald Reagan in his speech about the Berlin wall said:

This wall is something that should not be there, so let’s quickly get.

In this case, the message is simply lost. Instead, he challenged:

Tear down this wall.

It was succinctly and powerfully.

There are three good method to get rid of the words-parasites and unnecessary “fillers”:

Download the app to your smartphone, record your conversations and listen to them and analyze. Evaluate whether it was possible to say something in short, do you have the words-parasites, which must be avoided? Maybe it is better not to fill the pause, than to insert them in an inarticulate grunt or sound “uh”?

If you have a friend who will agree to help you, ask him to write down some annoying sound. When you again use the word parasite, a friend will enable you the sound (e.g., loud beep or something). Irritation will help you unlearn the words-parasites.

Try to write the speech, some texts and notes, and then check them out and ask yourself whether you can make each sentence shorter, neck and powerful. Of course, you write and speak differently, but still, one affects the other.

2. Speed speech

To understand what speed it, better listen to the conversation. which is obtained after conversion of text to speech.

Of course, in a real dialogue, it’s not so abnormal, but still somewhat “ragged” pronunciation significantly. To fix this, you can apply the method of “binding” that helps to achieve fluent and smooth speech.

Try to say the sentence below with a clear pronunciation of each syllable and short intervals between words. Listen to the rhythm of your speech.

Today I’m going to the gym. I’ll be happy.

You get too nervous, “step” speech in which too much emphasis is placed on some syllables, and it is an error.

Now try to mix each word with another that turned out as one big word.


The only argument that can be against this method — it sounds sloppy. Actually, it becomes more easy for listening.

3. Fast paced speech

Even if your speech is usually not a high speed, you can sometimes unconsciously be accelerated, for example, under the influence of emotions.

However, rapid speech is fraught with the fact that half of your information will not reach the audience. In addition, you risk to get lost in departing words, and say something. To monitor the speed of your speech, you can use your account.

To get rid of the habit to rush during a call, you can: breathe deeply before beginning the next sentence and imagine (if it’s actually not) that your audience is very interested in what you say and you have nowhere to hurry, they’ll listen till the end.

4. Closed body language

Many people know the difference between closed and open body language, but continue to use a publish, when we ought, on the contrary, to open up.

Open body language includes gestures, attitudes and movements that Express a friendly attitude and openness to interaction. Hands with open palms, feet, staring at him, hands in the air with fingers, addressed to the other party all it is an open body language.

Closed body language includes crossed arms or legs, clenched fists — all this shows the tension and even aggression towards the interlocutor.

We have a natural tendency to behave in one way or another, depending on the situation. If you disagree with someone, the body automatically responds: you are narrowing eyes, turn his head, cross arms. When you understand, listen and support, your body language automatically changes to open.

However, not always we need to give the interviewee nonverbal cues, sometimes the situation requires otherwise. Try to monitor the position of your body and facial expression in conversation.

Please note, cross your hands during conversation, what facial muscles tense up during a conversation. Practice, you will be able to control it.

5. Disagreement

Disagreement can be considered as a bug in a conversation only when the agreement or disagreement of the interlocutors do not depend and does not change. That is, it is an empty argument, which does not bear any fruit and is often not even change the opinions of the interlocutors.

Not every disagreement can be considered a mistake. Two professors from the University of Pennsylvania and the University of Corneille conducted a study entitled “Dynamics of natural conflict.” The study found that the group of participants who showed the best results, often had conflicts in terms of workflow and tasks, but not in terms of personal relationships.

That is, disagreement generates creative ideas to make people want to learn and improve some areas. All that is necessary for social interaction, even if you are against many people.

As for empty disputes, the point isn’t to learn something new, and not only in a verbal duel that follows the disagreement. When you claim that someone is wrong, you challenge him in a battle for the status, which is why most of the disputants stand by my opinion, to preserve dignity.

The next time you hear ridiculous or wrong, in your opinion, point of view, find out why the person thinks so, but do not rush to refute it.

If you do not agree with his point of view, instead of engage in a useless argument, simply move the conversation to another area where you will be able to come to an understanding. If such area is not, just don’t associate with such people.

6. Short of topics to talk about

When you talk with a new person or with those who are not familiar to you, words can very quickly dry up. You are not the person, if at least once in my life pulled out the words, trying to fill the awkward pause in conversation.

Good topics of conversation can last long enough to evolve and smoothly flow into the other. Not to get into an awkward situation, you can come up with a list of topics in advance and enjoy them on occasion.

Imagine the situation when you want to start a conversation with a stranger or unfamiliar person: around the water cooler at work, in cafes or on the phone.

Come up with 10 topics, which are suitable for conversation with any person in any situation.

It is not so difficult.

Man is always possible to ask, interested in his life (of course, unobtrusive), ask for advice on a particular issue or to talk about topics that are not alien to anyone.

That’s all about common mistakes in the conversation. Do you have any of them? Maybe you know a cool way to get rid of them? Share your experience in the comments.